thedeweybarn

"It was as big as a Ford Focus!"

2011-09-11T20:06:00.000-05:00

Is what I said when describing what Sam created in the bathroom while I read one, short book to his sister. We had a deal. I read Mae one book, then read him one book while he lounged in the tub. As I began reading to Mae, I heard tub's air jets turn on. That's fine, the jacuzzi-like jets are very relaxing. Mae and I were snuggled in the recliner under a blanket. Half-way through her book, Sam started yelling for me. I decided to finish reading Mae's book before responding because I felt it wouldn't be fair to interrupt her story time.

Mae and I finished her book, she snuggled under her covers and I kissed her goodnight. Ready to speak with Sam about the interruption, I stormed into the bathroom and saw an enormous mass of bubbles. He had gotten out of the tub to retrieve the bath gel and emptied half of it into the tub with the air jets on. No exaggeration, the mass if bubbles touched the ceiling, flowed out of the tub and half-way across the bathroom floor. My first thought was, "Damn! The camera is in Dave's truck." Then I masterfully hid my desire to laugh, left the room and called Dave to describe the scene.

Groundhog House

2011-08-22T14:50:00.000-05:00

This is a vacant house we drive by often. There are usually groundhogs grazing on the lawn. A few weeks ago we drove by and I saw two groundhogs sitting on the porch. All I could do was scream and point because I was laughing so hard. Since then, I keep my camera ready and drive by slowly. One afternoon I saw a single groundhog sitting on the porch. It is a dangerous corner to pull over on, so I decided to hold out for a picture of a pair.

In the meantime a small, blue wading pool appeared in the yard. I imagined little groundhog pool parties. My neighbor saw one of them near the pool and imagined a beach umbrella would complete the scene.

A couple of weeks have gone by and I'm getting impatient. I saw this one the other day near the porch and decided to settle. I wonder if he was waiting to rendezvous with one of his buddies or maybe a lady friend.

Hoarse and Horse

2011-08-18T11:32:00.000-05:00

Twice today I screamed like a horror movie victim. First, Mae was showing off for her pediatric cardiologist and fell off the exam table. Thankfully, Dr. Drucker caught her. I'm certain the staff was abuzz long before we left the clinic. Dr. Drucker is thorough and delivers excellent patient care. I imagine she expects and receives excellent service from her staff. This morning probably reminded them they work with Wonder Woman. Me on the other hand, froze in my tracks and screamed involuntarily.

Second big scream could have been avoided had I listened to Mae. As we left the parking garage she asked me to close the window so bugs won't fly in. "Honey, the window needs to be open so I can pay the parking garage attendant." On our way to her next appointment, I thought I felt something touch my neck. At the barn I felt something burn my thigh. It was definitely a sting but I didn't see a culprit. I went into the office to speak with Mae's therapist then felt a buzz and another sting on my right arm. "Ahhh! Bee, get away, get away!"

Mae riding Xena, armed with a loaded squirt gun.

Twisted, Then Sweet

2011-08-15T18:19:00.000-05:00

Bizarre that my mom's name came up twice tonight. Dave and I witnessed toy abuse and explained to Sam we still have some of our own toys from childhood because we take care of our things. "Really, my mom would be rolling over in her grave right now. If she had one." Her ashes are beside a stream in the White Mountains. Twisted, but struck me as funny.

A few moments later Mae wanted to help me walk the dogs. "Honey, it's raining out." "Can I borrow your mom's umbrella?"

I think my mom would have appreciated the humor, then the sweetness.

How I Got The Deweykids Outside Today

2011-08-13T14:31:00.000-05:00

45 minutes of work for 10 minutes of fun!

Mae is shirtless. She is having a naked day. I'm glad she put something on to go outside.

It was fun teaching Sam to be ruthless. He's usually sensitive about things like this. When he realized it was ok to soak me, we were eachother's main targets.

Still A-MAE-zes Me

2011-07-27T17:48:00.000-05:00

Mae went to the Williston Fire Department this afternoon. Her mission was to bring birthday cheer to a friend. Mae and her friend Michelle shopped for party favors, decorated cupcakes and selected an excellent gift for him. As I look at these photos I am happily reassured of her ability to light up a room.

A few weeks ago we attended a birthday party for one of her peers. Most kids at the party did not know Mae. Her social cues were confusing to them and sometimes they seemed uncomfortable around her. I'm afraid of the day when someone who doesn't understand her says or does something mean because she is different. Mae is a joyful, confident and generous person. I am terrified that someday, something could squash her spirit. That would be a terrible loss for everyone. However, looking through these photos I see strength, generousity and joy.

Seriously awesome gift, a fire engine sippy cup. I'm sure the other fire fighters are jealous.

Day On The Marketplace

2011-07-15T17:55:00.000-05:00

We had a rare day with no appointments, no pressing business, and all of us were together. Michelle, who works with Mae joined us. It's nice when adults outnumber kids.

Sam consistently captures the best photos of his sister. He's not bad at taking photos of his dad either.

Mae's announcement, also with Sam behind the camera. People nearby were glad to know who graced their presence this afternoon on the marketplace.

Same Kids, Same Kitchen

2011-07-08T17:11:00.000-05:00

A lot of things can change in four years. Their friendship has grown, but the hiding spot remains the same.

Fashion Blog

2011-06-20T18:31:00.000-05:00

I've thought about writing a blog to share Mae's fashion of the day. She creates bazaar wardrobe combinations that work for her. I doubt Lady Gaga could rock the ladybug-mud-boot, red short with white polka dots, pink camouflage fleece, orange-star-shaped sunglasses and yellow construction hat ensemble like Mae does.

This is the Willie Nelson look. It was perfectly complete before she removed the backpack.

Junefest 2011

2011-06-19T16:53:00.002-05:00

We have family south of Middlebury who host an annual gathering that is now known as Junefest. We gather for breakfast, then split into one of four assigned teams. Teams compete in events that change annually. At the end of the morning results are tallied and everyone receives a button based on where their team placed.

This morning we assembled before one of the supreme judges to review rules of the Scavenger Hunt.

Mae rocked the Sack Race event.

Our family was split on two different teams. Mae and I received tan buttons. Dave and Sam left with yellow buttons.

Cooling Off

2011-06-09T15:43:00.004-05:00

It was fun for a few minutes. Mae was unhappy with the sensation of her bare feet in the grass. I was thankful to hear thunder.

Butterfly Whisperer

2011-06-06T15:57:00.004-05:00

Butterflies land on him often. I think it's funny his expression looks like something tougher is perched on his finger, like a tarantula or scorpion.

Insightful

2011-06-04T17:26:00.002-05:00

"Super heroes don't wear masks. They wear gloves and carry purses."

Mae L Dewey

That's My Guy

2011-05-29T12:19:00.005-05:00

Sam found a baby bird on the lawn this afternoon. It's wings hadn't developed feathers yet so we knew it shouldn't be out of the nest. After only a little grumbling, Double D heroically climbed at least two stories to return our baby bird to the nest under our porch. I can hear a nest full of them chirping outside the window now.

She's Got Rhythm!

2011-05-19T17:45:00.003-05:00

On this video I see accomplishment for her hard work over the past year. Mae has an iPad that she easily navigates and is pleased with her independence. She dances to the beat of one of her favorite songs with balance, coordination and control.

Oh Great

2011-05-17T19:27:00.003-05:00

Recently, Mae has been behaving like a creature of the night. Around 4am she startles me awake with, "Mama!" I stumble into her room and am asked to find Barbie or ordered to pick up something that fell on the floor. Sometimes I am rewarded when she sleeps late. I'm not feeling lucky tonight, she fell asleep on the couch before 5pm.

The Good (Great) Stuff

2011-05-06T19:03:00.013-05:00

My kids share my weakness for not being able to keep surprises a secret. When they got home from school this afternoon they shouted, "Happy Mother's Day!" Immediately they tore into their backpacks and pulled out homemade gifts that were clearly intended for Sunday. Sam presented me a heart-shaped broach with the letter S on it. He proudly pointed out an interesting texture on the heart's surface. He had dropped the sculpture before it dried, accidentally stepped on it and was pleased with the result. Mae ran toward me with a bouquet of paper flowers tied together with a bow made from pink yarn. The card she made has shiny blue hand prints and her photo framed with flower petals. Their presentations took less than five minutes and gave my heart a treasured memory for life.

Sounds Of Spring

2011-04-28T20:13:00.010-05:00

I borrowed this picture of a spring peeper from naturesound.com. I would love to post an audio clip of tonight's early evening sounds from the Deweybarn. Tonight's song is a crescendo of peepers peeping, rushing water from over-filled streams and calls from migrating Canadian geese. It feels strange that ten days ago we had clouds that were spitting snow.

Magic

2011-04-24T20:02:00.033-05:00

Today I didn't mention Easter until lunchtime. I told them I would set up an egg hunt after lunch. With full bellies they politely trotted off to the back yard with bags for gathering jellybean-filled-eggs. They came in with their booty and I passed out hollow chocolate bunnies. That was it.

Sam has been sharing information he hears from his peers. "Joey and Aron said there is no Toothfairy." Last summer Sam drew a picture for the Toothfairy, placed it inside a box secured with tape. We asked a friend to write a note from the Toothfairy thanking him for the lovely picture. We re-sealed the box with her note inside. Recently Sam asked, "Is the Polar Express real? Ronnie and Joey said there is no Santa Claus." Our answers have been philosophic. "Polar Express is the story is of someone who doubts the magic of Christmas. After his experiences on that Christmas Eve he never stops believing in magic."

It's a bummer when external influence contributes to our children's view of the world. Thankfully, we see magic everyday at the Deweybarn. The Easter Bunny doesn't bring candy but we do watch wild bunnies make homes here. Santa's reindeer don't make tracks on the roof, but we see deer moving about our trails eating berries and drinking from the stream. On clear nights we've watched the colors of Northern Lights shifting through the sky. Blessed Be.

Friday Fish Fry

2011-04-22T20:17:00.003-05:00

I'd never deep fried anything before today. Clockwise from top left, Onion Rings, Cheese-stuffed Jalapeno Peppers, Bay Scallops, and Catfish. It was all very yummy, but next time I'll broil the fish. Too much beer-battered and fried deliciousness doesn't feel so good when dinner is over.

On A Day I Feel Broken

2011-04-15T20:01:00.008-05:00

I'm thankful the classic rock station played old school Black Sabbath this afternoon. I am grateful to have friends who are available when I call for help. Best of all, tonight my daughter fell asleep in my arms. I listened to her snore for nearly 30 minutes.

"Sam, You Are The Wildest"

2011-04-02T11:27:00.004-05:00

We have been using a token system to reward Sam when he is ready for school by 7am. There is a menu for him to choose rewards based on the number of tokens he has saved. Today he cashed in ten tickets to color his hair any color he wanted. I was hoping he'd choose green or blue but red is his favorite color.

After saying, "Sam is so silly", Mae stated with admiration, "Sam, you are the wildest."

A Perfect Day

2011-03-28T19:53:00.023-05:00

This is our daughter hugging Laurie Berkner. Most people with young children who have watched Nick Jr. or Noggin know her songs. There are moments in our lives, both simple and profound that come with a soundtrack. Songs from The Laurie Berkner Band are part of our soundtrack.

The day Mae was diagnosed with autism, I called Dave from the parking garage to tell him the news. To cover up my sobs, I played Mae's favorite CD. After a few minutes I heard her singing along with Laurie Berkner, "I'm not perfect. No I'm not. I'm not perfect, but I've got what I've got. I do my very best. I do my very best. I do my very best each day, but I'm not perfect and I hope you like me that way." My heart will never forget that moment. I'd often thought of sending the band a letter to tell them how much that song meant to me in that moment.

We learned the band planned a show in Providence this month. After considering the drive, finding dog care and cost we decided not to go. While I was on their website I sent an email with our story. The response came quickly from a member of their team. "If you ever come to a concert, we do meet and greets for our special needs fans." We quickly changed our minds, ordered tickets to the show and made travel arrangements. After the show we stood in line with other families waiting for our turn to meet the band. When they called us Mae ran into the room, did a flying leap into Laurie Berkner's arms and gave her a big hug. Laurie closed her eyes, accepted Mae's hug and hugged her back. Mae then got down from Laurie's lap, waved goodbye and ran out of the room. She was so excited! We all called to her, "Mae! Come Back!" I wonder if I'd do the same thing if I had a meet and greet with Kid Rock.

I told them our "I'm Not Perfect" story. The tears began before I even opened my mouth.

Progress

2011-03-20T20:50:00.007-05:00

We rode by our friend's house recently and Sam declared, "C & K have kids." Our friends have been a couple and good neighbors for more than eight years. We told him we hadn't heard they have kids and he confidently responded, "They do. They have kids, I saw toys in their yard. C & K have kids now."

Our friends C & K are two women in a committed relationship who run a successful construction company together. Dave and I are impressed that Sam has no barriers when considering what constitutes a family. I am proud to live in a state, be part of a community and a member of a family that raises a child who is unaware of the discrimination his parents have seen.

"Give me a big toothless grin!"

2011-03-17T16:08:00.000-05:00

He did.

Got Snow?

2011-03-08T20:43:00.011-05:00

Dave after snow blowing yesterday

I almost didn't post these photos because Facebook was flooded with pictures from my Vermont friends yesterday. Today while looking out this window I realized it needed to be done. All day yesterday I thought about the movie "Storm of the Century." "I'm a little teapot short and stout...."

Contradiction

2011-03-06T20:28:00.006-05:00

Yesterday's temperatures in the high 40's brought us a little bit of thaw. This morning I was out with dogs during a heavy snowfall and saw the stream flowing. Rushing water is usually what we hear in spring or after a summer storm. I thought it was worth saving.

He's A Smooth Operator

2011-03-03T20:33:00.005-05:00

I was on guard tonight because Sam didn't get his medicine this morning. Before I was told he didn't get it, I knew as soon as he got off the bus this afternoon. I stayed close to him all afternoon and evening to keep his impulsively from getting out of hand. It was draining and thank goodness I had a nap this afternoon. Bedtime couldn't come soon enough.

After books we settled in and turned off his light. Sam has glow-in-the-dark stars on the ceiling above his bed that he sometimes re-arranges. Tonight I noticed a cluster of stars, one big and two small above his lamp that glowed the brightest. Before I said anything he said, "Those stars are you, me and Mae."

The constellation on Sam's ceiling is my reward for not completely losing it tonight. He's good.

"....Happy birthday dear Mae, happy birthday to you!" "Again."

2011-02-27T22:33:00.004-05:00

It's her birthday and if she wants us to sing it twice we sing it twice! We had a wonderful gathering with friends and family. It made our hearts happy seeing her enjoy this special day.

"I'm A Mess"

2011-02-25T14:22:00.003-05:00

One of Mae's favorite songs by Laurie Berkner is I'm A Mess. I returned from getting wood for the stove and heard her singing. I should have known not to turn my back when she had paints in front of her.

She Wants To Do It Herself...

2011-02-24T21:13:00.006-05:00

...and for you too if you'll let her.

Someone Made A Video With My Phone

2011-02-14T18:55:00.001-05:00

Wii

2011-01-17T09:21:00.002-05:00

Fashion Show

2011-01-16T16:14:00.006-05:00

Killing Time At The Grocery Store

2011-01-04T16:06:00.003-05:00

I usually browse through carts with clearance items in them. This one had a tube of Luv Rub, Male Enhancement Gel right in with the stale candy and hemorrhoid cream.
Clip on camisoles. I think most people would want the before photo opposed to the after.

Deweybarn Holiday Season 2010

2010-12-26T20:38:00.005-05:00

Last weekend we attended a special Santa greeting organized for children on the autism spectrum. Sam, Mae and I had fun decorating cookies, making ornaments and new friends. Mae enjoyed playing at a sensory table filled with various treasures buried in rice. It wasn't long before she lured in three kids to play with her. Two of them seemed anxious when they arrived and I think non-verbal. "Here ya go", she said to one boy handing him a cup full of rice. Another boy sat down with his dad and Mae engaged both of them by sharing trinkets she found in the rice. I got choked up watching her work.

Chico waiting for Santa

Christmas morning Sam and Mae decided they should stack everything from under the tree onto the table. Sam found a stray bow, placed it on his head and said, "Look Mae, I'm a present!"

Burgermeister, Meisterburger

2010-12-19T18:01:00.008-05:00

We watched the old claymation holiday show "Santa Claus is Comin' to Town" a few times this past week. There is a scene toward the end of the show when the Bugermeister's portrait falls off the wall. The narrator, Fred Astaire explains the Burgermeister fell out of power and soon people forgot him and his laws.

The headline in today's paper read: 'Don't ask, don't tell' policy to end. Reading the article, especially statements of those opposed to repealing the law, I thought about the scene when Burgermeister's portrait fell from the wall. "The Burgermeister, (Don't ask, don't tell) fell out of power and soon people forgot him and his laws."

Metamorphosis

2010-12-16T18:20:00.003-05:00

Chico on June 29, 2010

Chico December 16, 2010

He's friggin' huge! He is also very smart, sweet and affectionate. He is going to be an amazing police dog.

I Was Powerless

2010-12-15T19:51:00.003-05:00

I went to buy wool socks for Sam this afternoon. Wandering around a store without a deadline or anyone tugging on my sleeve was wonderful. I spotted these little beauties in Mae's size. On the way home I called Dave to tell him about my purchases. He thought we should wrap the bounty and put it under the tree for Christmas morning. I said, "They are six and four! They don't want clothes, socks and shoes for Christmas!" His logic was more things to unwrap on Christmas morning. I hate to, but I concede when it comes to the shoes.

"Mama, It's A Wild Tree."

2010-12-08T22:52:00.007-05:00

This year, we harvested a tree from our property. Once it was up, Sam and I discussed what we like about our tree. Our tree grew naturally, not on a farm. A seed simply dropped from another tree and grew on its own. We love that our tree isn't groomed. It was shaped by where it grew without human intervention. "Mama, it's a wild tree."

"I'm ready for my close-up"

2010-11-30T21:56:00.003-05:00

Some days Mae insists on assembling her attire. Her choices are always fabulous!

Bathtime Gone Wild

2010-11-30T21:47:00.002-05:00

Mae and I were making beds and picking out bedtime books when we heard the tub's air jets turn on. We then heard, "Hey guys, look at this!"

"I put the red soap in and look what happened!"

Hearts, Hands and Horses

2010-11-17T09:24:00.001-05:00

Our Mae is a little cowgirl. We started Hippotherapy about a month ago and Mae is flourishing!

He's Too Cool

2010-11-12T21:45:00.016-05:00

On this day Sam turned 7. We celebrated by holding a barn dance with a few friends and family. Hmm, while composing this post I just noticed there is a dog under the table while the kids are eating cake! Typical. Anyway, as Sam got ready for bed I asked if he had a good birthday. He told me, "Yes I did!" Then he said, "Mama it would have been even cooler if Kid Rock was here to meet you." Every year on Sam's birthday we talk about the night he was born. After 7 birthdays he knows we listened to Kid Rock in the delivery room.

Sam wanting to make the day special for me did make his birthday even cooler.

Simple

2010-10-28T20:46:00.002-05:00

The most important thing in Jack's world is to know where I am. Whenever I go into the bathroom I hear him coming, he peeks around the door for a split second, then settles down nearby. Jack is the only living thing in my life that is completely satisfied by just knowing where I am. Second-hand-one-eared-dogs are the best!

"She Has Autism"

2010-10-03T15:16:00.011-05:00

This afternoon Sam and I watched Mae play soccer with her team. A little blonde boy, who is also a player was seated nearby. Mae's and boy's soccer mentors took advantage when Mae chose to engage with him and suggested they pass the ball. With much encouragement they passed the ball a few times before Mae headed off to do something else. Sam explained to the little boy and his family, "She has autism." Hearing him explain his sister's behavior in a place where explanations aren't necessary struck me as funny. I laughed out loud.

In retrospect, I realize Sam wants people to love his sister as he does. When Sam perceives her social cues are confusing, his job is to be her translator.

Sibling Alliance

2010-09-28T14:47:00.006-05:00

This past weekend Sam and Mae conflicts were resolved at my expense. On Saturday, Sam teased Mae by withholding her butterfly fairy wings. After being ordered to return them, I saw the wings were mangled. Mae was still freaking out so I got out of the van and opened her door to see if I could fix them. I then slipped in mud. They both had a good laugh, butterfly wing incident forgotten.

The next day we returned from an overnight visit. Mae was tired and Sam was baiting her. I then slipped in a pile of dog poop. Once again, they had a good laugh and chanted, "Mommy stepped in poop! Mommy stepped in poop!" for what seemed like an eternity.

I might be on to something. I could learn some self-deprecating physical comedy techniques, perhaps I'll have success switching them from an arguement to a treaty. After all, it is pretty damn funny when people fall.

TOP Soccer

2010-09-13T16:22:00.007-05:00

On Sunday we brought Mae to her first practice with TOP soccer. A few days ago when I told Sam about it he expressed concern, "What about her autism?" I explained TOP soccer is for kids like Mae.
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The event organizer asked Mae if she was excited to play soccer. I cried happy tears when she threw her arms in the air and exclaimed, "I play with the team!" We loved watching her on the field with the two college-aged mentors assigned to her. She laughed, hummed and connected with the other players. It was fun seeing her so thrilled and independent. All the while she was under the watchful eyes of her brother.

A-Mae-zing

2010-09-07T18:22:00.005-05:00

Within the past month, Mae has shown significant progress with self-care. She wants to do it herself and she does it well. Tonight as we got ready for bath, she neatly placed her dirty clothes in the hamper and climbed into the tub on her own. I said, "Mae, I'm so proud of you. You are good at doing things for yourself. You are my a-Mae-zing Mae" She smiled, did a happy wiggle and said, "I'm a lot of things." She's right.

Skid School

2010-08-30T14:19:00.006-05:00

Wow. In a Volvo, I matted the accelerator for over 100ft, then slammed on the brakes as hard as I could. Our next drill was speeding through a series of of cones without touching the brakes. Then we combined the two to simulate having something appear in front of you suddenly. The goal was to break, swerve and recover. It all took place on a closed course at Stowe Mountain Resort. The scenery was gorgeous! Not only was it super cool for me, Mae had fun running around outside. Sam drove through some of the obstacle course. He had someone accelerate and break for him, but he was pretty good at the steering wheel.

Dave and Sam were treated to a few runs down the Alpine Slide. Not a treat for me. We offered Mae a ride with her Daddy, she declined. When she changed her mind, they were already on the chairlift. They were on top of the mountain and could hear her screaming. Not wanting her to feel left out, we decided to take her on a run. Going up on the chairlift went fine. Waiting in line to go down was awkward, but manageable. Sitting in the sled she wanted to face me, like a monkey baby with her arms around my neck and her legs around my waist. This is not allowed for safety reasons, and I couldn't contain her. Thankfully Dave was behind me. I gave up and passed her back over my head to him. He was able to restrain her long enough to get them off the launching pad, then she enjoyed herself.

We came home over the mountain road. It was the easiest ride of the day.

I Think I Understand

2010-08-20T14:06:00.006-05:00

My friend Jennie often says she doesn't like going downtown because it makes her feel like a country bumpkin. I never understood this. Jennie saw Queen in concert! She saw Freddie Mercury rocking those hot pants. The "cool people" on Church Street have nothing on her.
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In the past month I've been in and out of Burlington often. Last month while navigating my van around a small gas station, I collided with a cement barricade and caused major damage to the passenger side. At the beginning of the month, trying to park in a tiny visitor garage I scuffed up against some one's car. When exiting the tiny garage I backed into the building and cracked my right tail light cover.
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Yesterday I experienced the final straw. The Deweychildren had an appointment downtown. At the end of their appointment, Mae was within eyeshot as I spoke with the provider about scheduling our next visit. Suddenly the fire alarm went off. Mae ran to me from the direction of the fire alarm pull, her arms outstretched as she shouted "Turn it off! Turn it off!" The building was evacuated. When firetrucks came Mae exclaimed, "Fire Trucks, Woo Woo!"
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I still enjoy going downtown. However, I now have a new appreciation for my friend Jennie's statement.

Why I'll Never Buy A New Couch

2010-08-13T19:02:00.001-05:00

Her brother taught her this

Summer on Chapin Road

2010-07-29T18:53:00.005-05:00

Over the years we have had several hot air balloons drift or land nearby. Two nights ago a balloon landed in our neighbor's yard. It was Sam's second opportunity to assist a landing crew pack up their balloon. There is a tradition where the balloon team offers a cold bottle of champagne to the family who resides where they land. Lucky for me, our neighbor chose to pass that bottle on to us!

Tuesday evening when we followed the balloon home, we passed three people riding horses down Chapin Road. I commented, "This is a great road for walking, running and riding...until you get to the red barn with the barking dogs." This afternoon I got home from the store and found Jack and Charky in the mudroom. They were inside the house when we left. In the living room one of our screens had been broken through and there was a new message on the answering machine. Our neighbor saw them running down the road with a jogger who flagged her down, "Are these your dogs?" "Nope, but I know where they live." Once again, great road for recreation until you pass the red barn with the barking dogs.

Life Of A Rock Star

2010-07-06T14:37:00.003-05:00

Taking a break on the tour bus.

I can't believe I haven't written a post since May, but then again I can believe it. It's either crazy busy or I think a "Whoa is me" post wouldn't be interesting. This afternoon Mae gave me a perfect blog worthy moment. When I found her like this I thought it looked like she was sleeping on a tour bus. I'm sure to pay for this later at bedtime but damn, she's tired and hot. I've eaten three Popsicles since 1pm. I don't do hot very well.

Dewey Disney Vacation

2010-05-20T18:18:00.008-05:00

During our five nights at Disneyworld we experienced magical moments to treasure forever. It was especially magical to share the experience with our young children. We are fortunate Disney recognizes autism as a condition that qualifies to receive a Guest Assistance Card. We were able to use secondary entrances, access special seating for shows and were shuffled to the front of the line for character greetings.

The Deweychildren did present some challenges. The most interesting was an altercation on a packed Disney Transportation Bus on the way back to our resort from Hollywood Studios. It was the first time I entered a bus with Mae in my arms and no one offered us a seat. Instantly, Mae threw a fit and lunged for a lap and kicked Sam in the process. Sam grabbed her leg, pulled it and scolded her for kicking him. Mae moved into full meltdown mode. I held her close and sang to her. My plan was to shut out stimulation overload and have her focus on my voice. I heard the woman next to me say, "Guys, settle down. There are children on the bus." I thought, "Oh, it'll be ok. Dave is up there, he has experience diffusing hot situations." When I looked up I saw Dave was part of the hot situation.

When Mae started melting down some punk said, "Someone better shut that kid up before I beat her."

"What did you say?"

"Someone better shut that kid up before I beat her."

"Are you threatening to beat my four-year-old autistic daughter?"

"Sorry man! I didn't know, I'm really sorry."

He Knows Important Details

2010-03-23T12:29:00.002-05:00

This afternoon one of Sam's teachers tried catching up with me after I dropped off Mae. When she missed me in Mae's classroom she went into Sam's kindergarten class. She asked him, "Sam what kind of car does your mother drive?" Sam's reply, "She doesn't have a car. She only has a van with Kid Rock on it."

Miss Him

2010-03-21T21:32:00.002-05:00

Our screensaver rotates through our picture album. Recently, I caught the last second of this image before it changed to another. Everything stopped and I said aloud, "I want more." Immediately I sat and changed this to our wallpaper. Sometimes I think I would give anything to wrap my arms around that barrel chest and smell his old-dog-smell again.

Classic

2010-03-15T13:05:00.003-05:00

Here she is moments before the four-foot-long pink balloon popped.

Today Was Mae's Day

2010-02-21T20:22:00.009-05:00

Three Princesses

Today we celebrated Mae's Birthday all afternoon. Uncle Buster, Sharon and cousin Jake came up from NH to join our first party of the afternoon. We booked space at a Bouncy House facility for Mae and her classmates. It was great seeing pigtails fly, big smiles and Mae play with her friends. I was thrilled when a couple who share a close connection with Mae showed up unexpectedly.

Our next celebration was with Mae's grown-up friends. Uncle Buster, Sharon and Jake made the transition smooth. I'm not used to having so many helping hands. Most everyone at Mae's birthday dinner party had been part of her baby welcoming ceremony. Dave observed that by the end of the evening she made a deliberate connection with everyone here.

Today was Mae's day.

It's Complicated

2010-02-13T20:52:00.011-05:00

This morning I caught the last hour of an HBO documentary called "Autism:The Musical". The movie documents a group of autistic children as they write, rehearse and perform their own musical. The documentary includes interviews with parents. Watching it shook me up.

She's three now. People notice there is something different about her, but she's so little it isn't awkward yet. How will it be when she's fourteen? I'm also scared about her being vulnerable when she becomes independent. Predators choose easy victims.

Alongside my fears, I received awareness. She'll be four in 11 days. Inside her is a developing four-year-old brain. I believe she receives information like a four-year-old. She wants things a four-year-old wants. Tonight we went to a family dance at her school. She watched as everyone played a Simon Says type of game. I explained the rules to her and told her she could play if she wanted to. My heart swelled when she did.

Just Look At Her

2010-02-12T21:23:00.003-05:00

There are days she needs to do things a certain way and it's a royal pain trying to figure her out. Thankfully we know about her autism. Now we celebrate her becoming a four-year-old girl, whatever challenges that may bring for us.

Akward Moment

2010-01-27T18:27:00.004-05:00

This and other stories were presented during our first Parent-Teacher conference. The purpose was to demonstrate Sam's developing writing skills. I started laughing. Then declared, "We're not swingers!" I'm sure that idea hadn't entered the teachers mind until I said that.

Thinks He's A Big Dog

2010-01-27T18:09:00.004-05:00

Here is our wiener dog playing tug-of-war with the police dog. I know he's trying to be serious, but it's always funny coming from such a little guy.

The Machine

2010-01-21T20:24:00.005-05:00

Experienced police k-9 handlers and trainers have referred to him as a machine. He is focused, quick and virtually unstoppable. Tazor was bred to be a working dog.

I met him less than a month after Kilo died. The night before Dave went to get him I couldn't breath. When they were on their way home from the airport I held the box with Kilo's ashes and cried my heart out. The first thing Tazor did when he entered our home was jump up to lick tears from my face.

Having Tazor in our home has required a higher level of responsibility. When we hire a babysitter for date night we can't leave him home with an untrained handler. If we go on vacation, our house sitter options are limited. He is a bizarre combination of bad ass to the world and big baby to few. Tazor is home tonight without Dave. It's sweet to have him clingy and sensitive with me.

"Mama, it looks like you naked!"

2009-12-27T20:49:00.003-05:00

What is intended to be a hat for a magnetic dress-up princess was re-purposed by Sam this afternoon.

My blog therapy has been on the back burner for a while. We've been adjusting to hearing that Mae has autism, I've been in physical therapy two to three times a week after the Halloween incident, and (I'm tempted to write yadda, yadda, yadda) life. I am happy to find beauty and humor in our life every day, but some days being the mama is just plain exhausting.

Predetermined

2009-11-24T21:05:00.005-05:00

The day was screwed before I could fuck it up for myself. Mae spent the night in our bed because she didn't feel well. The alarm went off at 6:45am, I opened my eyes in time for her hand to land on my eyeball. Blurred vision, pain, and sensitivity to light followed. My doctor's office was nearly booked so I went to an urgent care clinic. There are three scratches on the cornea of my right eye. Damn it, I need medication and a follow up tomorrow. I know it's a long shot, but hopefully the day before Thanksgiving won't be a mad-house at the urgent care clinic...yeah, right.

Leaf Pile at Grandpa and Grandma's House

2009-11-24T20:59:00.003-05:00

Six-Year-Old Star Of The Day!

2009-11-16T12:56:00.003-05:00

Our boy is six-years-old! We had a fun, simple party at home. It was a gorgeous day with sun streaming through the windows, the sound of children laughing, balloons, yummy cake and a little boy very happy with his new Transformers helmet.

Scary!

2009-11-02T14:41:00.008-05:00

All set for a fun evening of trick-or-treating. The rain had stopped and if good weather continued, we'd go see the locally renowned pumpkin glow. Our first stop was our baby sitter's neighborhood. Stepping out of the van onto wet grass I slipped, fell, did a split into a drainage ditch and landed face-down in mud. I'd heard a pop and started dry heaving-scary! Even more horrifying, the ambulance crew raised my muddy pant leg to reveal Sasquatch-length hair on my legs. I freaked and vowed to shave every day from then on. On the way to the hospital, the crew chief tried removing my wet shoes and socks for me. It's been too long since my last pedicure so I swatted him away. Thankfully a family friend was just leaving her shift in the emergency room so she was able to help me with the wet shoe dilemma.

At the hospital, the ambulance crew rolled me past a group of hospital security officers. I thought I recognized one of them and said, "Hey Cupcake!" They all stared at the crazy mud-covered woman on the stretcher. Apparently, our friend Rick doesn't work there anymore.

After x-rays it was determined there were no broken bones. Whew! It still hurts when I move the wrong way and I either scream or take deep breaths. Thankfully my spouse has been home to run the show while I convalesce. I am also thankful that the family whose daughter baby sits Sam and Mae took them trick-or-treating while I was being examined at the hospital. I'd have hated for no one to see them in their super-cute costumes that mama made!

I Stand Corrected

2009-10-24T19:40:00.003-05:00

This afternoon we were invited to a matinee performance at The Haunted Forest. We were to meet friends for the 1pm performance and they had complimentary tickets for us. When it was time to get ready, I turned a corner and was met with a bit of mischief. Sam has a rocket launcher that is powered by stomping on a pocket of air that goes through a tube which launches the rocket. Today his experiment was to fill it with liquid hand soap. I turned the corner to have a load of liquid, gelatinous hand soap launched at me. At that moment I announced we weren't going to The Haunted Forest because bad behavior does not deserve a reward and I was angry! However, our friends were expecting us and I didn't want to seem unappreciative for the free tickets. Sam gave his most sincere apology and revealed he thought it would be funny. Alright, it was pretty funny.

Spare Change Anyone? Spare Change?

2009-09-28T17:16:00.000-05:00

My Husband Rocks!

2009-09-15T08:59:00.003-05:00

Dave saw this on the side of a city bus a week before the concert. He rang up a friend who works for the city's public transportation agency and voila!

Sam wanted to pose pretending he was Kid Rock in the picture. He's my little rock star.

Knocked The Wind Out Of My Sails

2009-09-14T16:12:00.003-05:00

Fucking head lice.

These last few weeks with my kids in school have been disorienting. I've been rested, getting things done around the house and taking walks with our dogs. It felt good to accomplish things that I'd been neglecting. Yesterday I noticed Mae had a few free loaders on her scalp. I've stripped every bit of bedding, cushion, stuffed animal, curtain, pillow and they are loaded into bags waiting to go to the laundromat. It takes an hour and a half to comb through Mae's head screening for eggs. Damn it.

Blissful

2009-09-06T23:06:00.002-05:00

So delightful and surreal to see Kid Rock perform 15 minutes from my house! I'm still in a daze. The show was awesome as always and it was great to see him from my spot up against the barricade. Ahh. Bliss.

Quirky

2009-09-01T08:05:00.006-05:00

The one on the left wears her shoes on the opposite feet.

This one can climb the stairs, but can't climb down.

This comes into the house through our bedroom window. She scratches relentlessly at the glass, at any hour of day or night until someone lets her in.

This one eats on the roof.

Tazor (and Dave) on TV September 13th

2009-08-27T22:47:00.002-05:00

Dave, Tazor and founding members of Lacey's Fund were interviewed by NECN. The interview will be aired September 13th at 11:30am and 6:30pm. Lacey's Fund raises money to help offset medical expenses for retired police dogs. I can't wait to see it! I sure hope Dave didn't have spinach in his teeth or a booger.

Trash Day

2009-08-26T09:19:00.001-05:00

My Young Storyteller

2009-08-17T18:15:00.002-05:00

Water Adventures

2009-08-17T11:51:00.008-05:00

When temperatures are in the 90's, a cool dip is the best. After the Maple Street pool incident, we are easing Mae into our summer water adventures.

Those specs between the rocks are my kids. We stopped to enjoy this spot along the Saco River in the White Mountain National Forest.

Mae, enjoying a private seaside puddle.

Our three hour tour (A three hour tour) of Portsmouth Harbor and around the Isle of Shoals.

Awww!

2009-07-25T22:01:00.003-05:00

Today we made a CD called Sam's Mix. His mix is an eclectic collection of adult and kid music. We must have played it at full volume at least four times. He joined me as I danced in the kitchen to the version of "I Like to Move It" by Will.I.Am. Sam said to me, "Mama, you are beautiful when you dance."

Emergency Bathtime x 2!

2009-07-18T23:03:00.005-05:00

This morning Sam and I took three dogs out after their breakfast. After a minor distraction, I refocused to see Tazor peeing on Charky. He's a little guy who was in the wrong place at the wrong time. I immediately tossed him in the sink for a quick shampoo.
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This afternoon myself and the Deweychildren went on a few errands. We returned home and Mae looked sleepy so I settled her down in the guest room. Sam and I came back from taking dogs out and I heard her happy sounds from inside the house somewhere. After a minute or two Sam shouted, "Mama! Mae's sticking her head in the toilet!!!" Mae ran out the the bathroom with a toothbrush in her mouth and soaking wet hair. The toothbrush went into the trash. I filled the tub as I mentally composed this post.

She Survived Another Day

2009-07-12T20:14:00.008-05:00

Here she is on the deck at Vermont Pub and Brewery waiting for a grilled cheese sandwich. Outwardly, there is no sign of trauma inflicted by her mama from the day before. I knew the Maple Street Pool incident should be blogged, but it took me a few days to prepare, here goes.

We Deweys went to the Maple street pool Friday afternoon. It's a great pool that has a little kid section and a water slide. We had been there once before two summers ago when Mae was only a few months old. The first thing she said after we paid admission and passed through the gate was, "Water slide!" She enjoyed splashing around for a while before deciding it was time for a trip down the slide. She approached from behind and expected to push to the front of the line. I grabbed her up and brought her back to wait our turn. Finally, we were up and she raced up the stairs. Mae was in my lap, ready to go when we heard the whistle. We were clearly violating something, but from the top of the water slide I couldn't hear a word the lifeguard was saying. I assumed she was telling me two people couldn't go down at once. I thought it was crazy, Mae is three-years-old shouldn't she go down with an adult? Well, if that's how it is they must be ready to catch her. I let her go and ran down the stairs saying, "You better catch her because she can't swim."

Dave looked up in time to see a little kid come off the slide, flop around in the water and a lifeguard dive in. He thought, "Whoa, that sucks. Hey, that's Mae!"

We approached the slide from behind and didn't noticed the posted rules stating one must be at least 48 inches tall and a good swimmer to use the slide. Mae is fine. Of course I feel terrible. I hope my kids survive having me for a mom, and I plan to survive being their mom.

A Mama Moment

2009-07-05T19:52:00.001-05:00

Thank you Margie Cain for capturing this.

He Completes Me

2009-06-30T20:28:00.002-05:00

Some (please forgive the expletive) fucking derelict tried drowing a litter of puppies in the lake, a little girl came to the rescue and managed to save one. He is a 6-8 wk old houndish mix. Sam named him Charky. My heart has wanted a playmate for Jack and they became best buddies instantly. I am content.

I Know, I'm Twisted

2009-06-28T19:16:00.004-05:00

We watched a storm roll in last night, each flash of lightening we'd say, "I saw a flash!" The next clip shows the Dewey children respond to a loud clap of thunder. I'm ashamed to say, I watch it over and over and giggle every time.

Summertime And The Livin' Is Easy

2009-06-20T10:49:00.004-05:00

The blog slacker is back! Not much to write accept we showed Deweybarn today to a nice family. If interested, they would definately be barn-worthy. It would be a relief to pass on the barn to family who undertands the cool factor.

Say Cheese!

2009-06-20T10:40:00.002-05:00

Snapshot

2009-05-20T10:23:00.009-05:00

I have memories that are like snapshots I never want to lose. Mae pinches her neck when she is tired. Sam is the first to dance during music time at the library. Mae makes a humming sound as she goes about her business. After I reply to several of Sam's "Hey Mama," with "Yeah babe?" he'll say, "I love you mama."

Sam Dewey, Self Portrait

2009-05-13T19:17:00.005-05:00

What a goof.

"Oh! Don't take the camera!" Taken before the reprimand, this is his practice pose.

All of these (and more) were taken while I was distracted by a 5 minute phone call.

Timing Is Everything

2009-05-01T11:34:00.003-05:00

Deweybarn is on the market again. We had a showing this morning with a couple who would be a great match for the barn. We are selling without a realtor so we did the showing ourselves. After touring inside Dave took them out to the loft while I stayed in with the kids. I stepped out for a minute to fill the bird feeders and heard a crash. I looked in the window to see the water cooler and a full five-gallon jug broken on the floor. Five gallons of water flowing through the kitchen past the breakfast bar and down through the floor into the basement. I ran down and yanked a towel out of the dryer but realized it was useless. They were coming down the stairs as I closed the door behind me. "I need to explain what is behind this door before you go in." Despite the water cooler incident, the showing went pretty well.

Last weekend our friend Ben took some great barn photos that are posted on his website. www.sonicbloom.org/deweybarn The pictures are untouched and show our baskets of laundry waiting to be put away, junk in the barn and Sam playing in a yard strewn with toys. Real life is pretty wonderful.

Kid Rock!!!!

2009-04-21T20:30:00.002-05:00

Will be performing in my town! When I stop weeping with excitement there will be more to follow.

Not A Fan Of Mornings

2009-04-20T19:14:00.006-05:00

Thankfully, I'm not woken until 7:40am. I entice Sam to snuggle and watch Playhouse Disney while I slowly gain conciseness.

We are all downstairs by 8am. Mae gets a fresh diaper and I start taking dogs out. This requires more than one trip due to big dogs with personality conflicts.

Back inside, I start my tea and feed the two-leggeds. Sam eats three Eggos (I know I vowed never to serve frozen waffles and to all those who smiled and nodded: you were right). Mae eats one waffle sparsely topped with maple syrup. She manages to squeeze out enough syrup to rub into her hair which she likes to use as a napkin.

I take what I intend to be a moment to catch up with e-mail. Sam insists I give him undivided attention as he tells me knock-knock jokes, Mae crawls all over me, and Meike nudges her snout under my arm.

I fill the bird feeders. Then I feed dogs and mediate their breakfast routine. After they eat I take Meike out. About a hundred yards from our door I see two big black dogs alert on us from our neighbor's driveway. I've seen these rouges on the loose before. They may be perfectly playful, but when confronted with Meike's aggression the situation could turn ugly. I run for the door. It's like running in a pool of water because Meike resists as she watches the big, black strangers. We make it inside, my heartbeat doesn't return to normal for at least 20 minutes.

I'm now calm. Sam is sucked into a new game on pbskids.org and Mae is watching a new Little Einsteins movie on Playhouse Disney. Time for a quick shower, then I hear something hit the window. I look up in time to see something black drop, then another black shadow dive for the ground. Outside my window I see a bird checking on it's partner who is laying on the ground, feet in the air. Oh man! I rush down in my bathrobe, the little guy is still breathing so I scoop him up and place him on the highest beam in the llama shelter, hoping for a full recovery. When I check a few hours later he is gone and I don't see evidence of feline interference. Awesome.

I experience all this living in my first two hours of the day. Chaotic, but much more interesting than a 9-5 job.

"This Is Mad Mommy"

2009-04-17T10:45:00.002-05:00

He told me Mad Mommy needs to go to jail. When I asked what Mad Mommy was holding in her hands he said, "Those are your scraggly fingers." It was hard for him to stay mad at me when I wanted a picture of him with Mad Mommy.

Typical, Then Strange

2009-04-15T20:24:00.003-05:00

Bringing Sam to school this afternoon I saw an old dog in the road. He didn't seem to have street smarts because he kept wandering in front of cars. You won't find much for traffic on the dirt roads of Westford, but there were a handful of cars not sure what to do about the old guy standing in the road. He wore a collar without tags. I called to him, "Hey Buddy, want to go for a ride?" He jumped right in and started cleaning up food crumbs in the van. After dumping Sam at school I set out to find his owners. Thankfully it took only two stops. His name is Harv and he's half blind. We've scooped up at least four wandering dogs in the years I've lived here. Luckily we've either found the owners or they've found us.

On our way home from Harv's house I saw an average grey squirrel who was missing the bush from his tail! He had a little rat-like tail with no fur. I'm certain it was a squirrel, not a chipmunk. Now what would cause that? At first I wondered if it had been burned off or something, but the rest of him looked alright. Perhaps he has a skin condition or something. If he were someones pet I wonder if he'd be wearing one of those little collars that keep animals from chewing on themselves. Strange.

Mae and Jenny

2009-04-11T07:13:00.002-05:00

Jenny must be at least 12 now. Kids love her.

Peepers!

2009-04-11T07:10:00.002-05:00

Those were definitely peepers I heard last night! Their song is still faint, but soon it will be deafening. The road is thawing and smells like earth. I see buds forming on the trees. Aaaah.

"Hey Mama! Look!"

2009-04-03T19:41:00.003-05:00

Uh oh. Sometimes I expect the worst when I hear those words.

We are in the process of replacing our septic system. Unfortunately (or fortunately if you consult our local Swamp Thing) we have a wetland "resource" located on neighboring properties and on our own. Two days ago, Swamp Thing was here to tag designated wetlands on our land. Yesterday, Sam was playing in the backyard and exclaimed, "Hey Mama! Look!" He held several stakes with pink flags labeled "Wetland."

"Oh Honey! Put all of those flags back exactly where you found them!"

Uh oh.

Two More Funny Notes On Vegas

2009-03-29T19:26:00.003-05:00

This picture is pretty darn funny.

Second, I got a complete stranger to say, "Daddy needs a new pair of shoes!" I walked by a craps table (unfortunate name) and stopped to ask if people actually say, "Mama needs a new pair of shoes" when they throw dice. The dealer smiled and nodded. A player volunteered to say, "Daddy needs a new pair of shoes!" On his next roll he said, "Baby needs a new pair of shoes!" I don't think he won, but he didn't lose. Lady luck is fickle. First few days I cleaned up and spent my winnings. Last few days I fed the machines $45. In the end, casinos paid for my drinks, a meal for two that included a pitcher of margaritas at Baja Miguel's, and a head shot for my business cards and website. Viva Las Vegas.

2009-03-28T19:26:00.009-05:00

Souveniers from Monday night's banquet.

My little friend from the Shark Reef Aqaurium at Mandelay Bay.

Fountains at Bellagio.

Volcano eruption at the Mirage.

Chilling out with Hef.

The Rock, he is as hard as he looks.

Self portrait on our last day in Vegas.

Las Vegas Stories

2009-03-27T22:11:00.004-05:00

As I wait for a shuttle to the airport I'm thinking about my funny Vegas memories.

My friend Bernie hasn't flown since 9/11 and was anxious about going through a security checkpoint for the first time. After his bags passed through the x-ray machine a homeland security officer reached into Bernie's bag and withdrew a screwdriver. Unaware it had been in his bag Bernie held up his hands and instructed the officer to please dispose of it. The terror in his eyes must have reassured the agent Bernie wasn't a threat. He measured the tool and returned it to Bernie's bag.

On Tuesday when I was attending my conference, Bernie relaxed at the condo. He treated himself to a soak in the jacuzzi tub. Neither of us were aware maid service would be offered mid-week. Both he and our Spanish-speaking maid surprised one another.

The Vegas strip and casinos are full of time-share pushers. In order to qualify for promotional gifts, couples need to attend a high-pressure sales presentation and be either married or share the same address. Most were speechless when informed we were neither married or co-habitating. The best reaction was, "Well, if you're going to do it, do it right! What happens in Vegas...."

Attending a conference at the Las Vegas Hilton I was treated to amazing meals. Twice I took pictures of gorgeous desserts with my phone and texted them to Dave back home. Today we went to Madame Tussaud's Wax Museum. Bernie snapped a suggestive photo of me and adult film star Jenna Jamison. Most of our photos taken with the statues look eerily real. The picture I texted Dave was very convincing. When we spoke later, he asked me who that woman was. When I told him it was Jenna Jamison he got very excited and asked where I'd met her.

I return home in the morning and with the exception of me and Jenna, will post my vacation photos.